Salt Caramels

Making salt caramels was an item on the good ol' 2010 list. Since salted candy was a BIG pregnancy craving of mine and since I'm STILL PREGNANT I figured 40+weeks-ish was as good a time as any to whip up a batch. I found this recipe online and figured it looked simple enough to fit my needs. I decided to go with sea salt rather than driving around town looking for Fleur de Sel because, HELLO, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF ME LATELY?

I made an attempt on Tuesday night but was rather ill prepared. I thought I had parchment paper on hand but it turns out I really had waxed paper. Not. The. Same. I also knew I had a candy thermometer but didn't realize it only went up to 220 degrees whereas the recipe CLEARLY states to cook the caramel up to 248 degrees. I figured since the thermometer was a dial style that it'd skip past 200 and I'd be able to at least estimate 248 but no such luck. The pointer actually stopped at 220 and wouldn't budge from there. All of which left me with a pan of totally delicious stuff that was too sticky to cut and stuck crazy glue style to waxed paper. Fail.



I made a Gelsons run for a better candy thermometer and a roll of parchment and tried this shiz again last night. My caramel cooked to 248 degrees, I let it cool in an oiled, parchment lined pan and stuck it in the fridge for 10 minutes to prepare it for cutting. Everything seemed in order, until I cut into my beautiful, salted caramel block and popped off a chunk of caramel SO hard and jagged it flung itself across the kitchen and CUT INTO MY HUSBAND'S TOE. His shock when he yelped "THAT HURT MY TOE!" was so freaking hysterical I peed my pants. NO, REALLY. I'm 40+ weeks pregnant. We do that.

We let the caramel sit out on the counter to warm back up to room temperature (while I changed my pants, of course) and tried cutting it again about an hour later. I can't say the pieces are uniform or pretty or even nicely wrapped, but they'll do and they taste AMAZING. I'm going to go ahead and pronounce this a Win.

Not a baby picture

YET.

I'm going in for a nonstress test for the Bean in a few minutes. They're going to monitor him for a bit to make sure he's happy since his due date was, oh, YESTERDAY. And of course it passed uneventfully and without anything much more than my usual Braxton Hicks and cramps and whatnot.

We actually went to the Getty yesterday, on my "due date". With my parents and Boy's mom. And wouldn't you figure, when we rang each of them up to ask if they wanted to go they TOTALLY THOUGHT I was in labor.

The freaking people out every time I call them bit is a fun trick. I'll actually kind of miss that I think.



If you Google "how to naturally induce labor" I guarantee you there isn't a single thing I haven't tried . . . but I'm still open to suggestions! Leave one if you've got one :)

Weekenderies

So! Still pregnant!

We spent Saturday morning signing the closing papers on our condo refi (FTW!) then running errands in preparation for the BBQ we hosted Saturday evening for my parents, Boy's mom and siblings. Yep . . . dinner for 8 at our place a week before my due date. I made it through alive, albeit relying heavily on paper plates and at least half the food being brought by others. A good time was had by all.

Boy and I finally bought a new chair for our deck (the ones we had last summer from CB2 didn't survive the winter, so we've been chairless up there ever since) (For the record, CB2 took them back and gave us 100% store credit without a receipt and almost 8 months after our purchase). We went back and forth a zillion times on what we wanted chair wise up there . . . I wanted two rocking chairs like these from Ikea but Boy (probably rightfully so) disagreed thinking that they'd be noisy in the wind (the deck is right over our bedroom). We liked a few wicker options but were apprehensive since the CB2 wicker chairs didn't hold up. We finally decided on (one) classic Adirondack chair w/ footstool from Cost Plus.

Here's Bean posing with our new chair:



On Sunday we did an Ikea run. I'd wanted to make something from this fantastic Ikea fabric ever since seeing this post on OhDeeDoh. I told Boy all about it claiming it had "Matterhorns! And YETIS!", which, obvs, he was TOTES in to. We finally found it and I realized that by "yetis" of course I meant "goats". Boy asked me where the Yetis were and I told him I must have imagined them which became our catchphrase for the rest of the weekend: "Oh, the yetis? I must've made those up."

Evem yeti-less, I think our new floor pillows are pretty rad:

OhDeeDoh! OMG!!!

I got word that Bean's room was going to be featured on OhDeeDoh yeserday morning and proceeded to a) call my husband SO EXCITED that he thought I was in laobr, b) call my mother SO EXCITED that she too thought I was in labor, and c) debate whether or not I wanted to be "that chick" on Twitter and Facebook claiming BIG NEWS but then refusing to say WHAT until the room was posted.

I managed to hold off on the whole claiming big news thing.

The feature went up later that afternoon and Boy and I couldn't be more proud!



We keep telling the Bean that his room has been featured on a DESIGN BLOG so it is more or less time for him to join the world and see it in person. Also, judging by the spleen jabs I've been getting lately, it is getting kind of cramped in there . . . so we've been trying to lure him out by explaining that space on the outside is actually infinite. I'll admit that we secretly hope he's picking up a physics concept with the whole "space being infinite" thing.

Mind you, I've never done this whole baby having thing before, but he doesn't SEEM to be making any moves quite yet. I have plenty of Braxton Hicks contractions . . . usually towards the end of the work day which makes me think being tired triggers them. They aren't painful though, and they don't come in any sort of pattern.

Part of me thinks he just might not be done cooking yet . . . which makes me thankful that I've found an OB who is willing to let me go into labor even though we all know I'll almost certainly end up with a csection. The only thing I know for sure is that he is his OWN BEAN and he'll come when he damn well pleases. I've given up trying to pin him down!

So maybe I'll be blogging as usual next week . . . or maybe my husband will be posting a baby picture. We'll just have to wait and see!

Ambulance Chasing

I don't talk about work here. There's a DAMN GOOD reason for that. And I'm not going to start now. I AM however going to talk some serious smack about the BS I've been hearing from my coworkers in the last few weeks of this pregnancy in hopes that some of you will either a) TOTALLY RELATE or b) learn what NOT to say to a woman who is 9 months pregnant.

#1: "When's your last day at work?"

How about this: WHEN I GO INTO LABOR. Don't look so horrified.

#2: "Are you just OVER IT already?!"

Nope. Actually. I feel fine. SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, and all.

#3: "You look like you're ready to explode!"

What primitive back recess of your brain told you this was a "good" thing to say?

#4: "Did you hear that story about how (insert horrible thing here) happened to some woman who was in labor / having a csection"

Really? REALLY?! STFU!!!

#5: "Are you sure it isn't twins?"

There's that primitive back recess of your brain, acting up again.

In other words, when confronted with a heavily pregnant woman, most people's brains turn to slush. Which is PRETTY DAMN FUNNY considering that pregnant women themselves are the butt of so many slush brain jokes. Sorry, but I've been pregnant for 9 months now and I've NEVER said anything as stupid as items 1-5 above. I'm not losing brain cells, everyone around me is.

The thing that bugs me the most is that people don't seem concerned about my welfare or about Bean's . . . they're just hoping to hear me complain. They WANT horror stories about swollen ankles, hemeroids and peeing 5x a night. Sorry to fuck with your world view guys, but I'm not a psychotic hormonal trainwreck.

Rant fin.

ANYWAYS.

Boy's office had a shower for us on Friday which was awesome and especially fun for me because I used to work with him . . . so I got to see a bunch of my old friends. After the shower we ran to the hospital to see my friend who just had her baby (Same hospital! Same doctor!) and I can't even tell you how much it helped to sit and talk to her about her experience and see her gorgeous baby girl. Hospital tours are great and all, but actually hanging out in a recovery room with a friend who just had her baby was PRICELESS in terms of easing apprehension and making us feel more prepared for the experience to come.

We spent the rest of the weekend inventing things to do to prepare for the Bean. We are so ready it is almost funny. Saturday I thought "Well, I GUESS we could go to Target and buy more diapers" then "Well, I GUESS we could go to Best Buy and pick up a little CD player for his room". We're making stuff up at this point . . . I guess that's better than scrambling though!

The laundry is done, the room is all set, we have diapers and baby shampoo and toys and books.

And pretty darn soon we're going to have a baby.

Multi Functional!

I had the sewing bug bad for a while . . . then it waned . . .but it is back again! So over the weekend I decided to get an item crossed off my 2010 list.

I wanted to make a "Diaper Clutch" I'd dreamed up. I wanted it to be cute, something I'd want to carry as a purse and not something baby themed.



I wanted it to be big enough to function either as a) a bag for my big old wallet, cell phone, keys, and purse type things which I could toss into a diaper bag ORRRRRR b) a bag big enough for a changing pad, a few diapers and wipes and a toy which I could toss into a purse. Like how I did that?



I also wanted the strap to be fancy and modular: functional as a shoulder strap, a wristlet or a loop to be hooked to the strap of a purse or through belt loops.



I used a 12 inch zipper (most wristlets I make with 9 inch zippers, which just isn't quite enough space for my enormous wallet or for a changing pad) and adorable plaid fabric I bought months ago at F&S for this very purpose. The lining is the last of a postcard/stamp themed print I've been hoarding for ages and the ribbons and lace are all from my stash. I'm pretty pleased with how it came out . . . and with how quickly the project came together! About an hour start to finish.



If this little bag proves as useful as I think it will, I can see myself making quite a few more!

Beanself

The version didn't work.

I'm going to wait to go into labor and he'll probably be born via csection at that point.

I'm upset. I've been reading things telling me that my body isn't dysfunctional for 9 months now and GUESS WHAT?! My body is dysfunctional. My chiropractor has seen similar issues in dancers and gymnasts and thinks that my issue has to do with the fact that I was a figure skater all through my teens. My hip flexors are especially tight and they're pulling on and constraining the tendons that hold the uterus, meaning less space for the Bean. My OB thinks that my core muscles are too tight and they're constraining and narrowing my uterus, restricting Bean's ability to turn.

Either way I'd feel infinitely better about this BS if I'd had a six pack before I got pregnant.

(I didn't.)

The good: Bean is 100% healthy and barely flinched when two grown men pushed SO HARD trying to turn him that their arms were shaking. I held up pretty well during the procedure and feel sufficiently bad-ass-ish for having dealt with the pain and not asked the doctors to stop. I also survived my first IV with barely a mark to show for it.

I really, really, really don't want to do this csection business . . . but I think now that I can.

Annnndd . . . I pretty much don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm done. I've done everything I can and now we'll just wait and see and deal when it happens.

I finished a little project for the Bean on Wednesday night . . . something I really wanted to have up in his room for when he comes home. When Boy and I got married I embroidered pillows for us that say "Himself" and "Herself" and we've been using them on our bed ever since. I kind of love that Bean has his own little pillow now too.